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The Family I didn't pick
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My parents are (mother) Lillian and (stepfather)
Terrel Cribbe, of Columbia, South Carolina. Since this was the
joining of two established families, then depending on how you
look at it I am the third child of four, or the seventh of eight.
It's easier if I just list my siblings, in order of age:
Olin Cribbe
(stepbrother), currently living in Washington State. He inspects
nuclear power facilities.
Carolyn Gulledge
(sister), currently living in both Union, S.C. and Columbia, S.C.
(she maintains two homes). Carolyn's a registered nurse.
Terry Cribbe
(stepbrother), currently living in Anderson, S.C. He's a nuclear
engineer. I don't know if Olin's ever inspected his work. Terry's
also huge. Imagine Grizzly Adams. If you don't know who that is,
imagine a grizzly bear.
Anne Briggs
(stepsister), currently living in Sugar Hill, Georgia. Some kids
wanted a pony when they were young. Anne had one. Ok, so it was a
horse.
Everett Leigh
(brother), currently living in Union, S.C. Everett runs Marketing
Development Association, Inc., a.k.a. Eveready Alarms &
Communications. He's a "self-made man". I'm sure that
my mother is relieved to know that, since it means she doesn't
have to accept any blame for having had him.
Patricia Cruz
(stepsister), currently living in Blythewood, SC. I don't know
what she does, but she's married to a fireman.
Me.
Robert Leigh (brother), currently living
in Union, S.C.
Obviously I have so many relatives that I've
completely lost count, but I keep in contact with a couple:
Jennifer is
my cousin, about my age. She's also living in North Carolina, but
we don't see much of each other. You'll notice I didn't mention
Jennifer's last name. That's because she remarried and I wasn't
invited. She's also a babe and I don't want to be responsible for
any calls from sex-starved internet loonies.
My Uncle Vic is Jennifer's dad. He lives
a few doors away from my mother. He's retarded from the Army (his
phrase, not mine). At least, he says the Army's
responsible. I think it's the bourbon.
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