Pet Peeves

"Human Resources"

This is my biggest peeve, bar none. They're not "human resources", damn it, they're people. Toilet paper is a resource... you use it and throw it away, and HR carries the same connotation in my mind. You can bet that the next time I start a company, there will be a personnel department, and no human resources to be found.

Disney

What is wrong with these people? Can they not leave well enough alone? (rhetorical question... I know they can't) The problem I have with them is that they take a perfectly good story and screw it up for no good reason. Let's take a look at some recent examples...

• The Little Mermaid. This is my favorite Hans Christian Andersen story (a very hard choice, I might add... all of his tales are exceptional!) Disney chose to screw it up by taking a happy ending onto what was a touching and poignant object lesson.

• The Lion King. Oh, wait. I liked this one. Carry on.

• Pocahontas. This is a historical story. So let's totally twist the facts, advancing the age of Pocahontas so that she can be a politically correct love-interest for John Smith. And speaking of "political correctness", I've got no objection to objectively portraying whatever multi-cultural beliefs advance the story. But remember that this particular story is presented as historical truth. Totally ingoring the fact that the real Pocahontas converted to Christianity and changed her name to Rebecca, it doesn't simply portray the Native American beliefs in naturalism... it portrays them as being superior, in that Pocahontas actually introduces John Smith to the talking tree. This isn't multiculturalism, it's propaganda. Forty thousand thumbs down to the morons at Disney who penned this atrocity.

• A Bug's Life. A gender-confused ladybug is not my idea of family fare. Language notwithstanding, I liked "Antz" better.

Stupid Lawyers

This is extremely broad, but here's a case in point: "Innocent Until Proven Guilty". This phrase is bandied about as if it actually had relevance to anything. However, the true quote is PRESUMED innocent until proven guilty. This is a HUGELY different thing. Understand that it is the commission of a crime, not the conviction, that makes you a criminal. And yet there are people (including the President of the United States!) who actually believe that if it's not proveable, it's somehow OK. And there are practising lawyers who actually perpetuate this lie to their clients. This morning I saw a "legal expert" take this view on NATIONAL TELEVISION (OK, so it was Geraldo Rivera, but believe it or not, he was there as a legal expert). Now, a lawyer's job is to act as advocate for his client, but it is certainly not to tacitly encourage further illegal behaviour by perpetuating this fallacy to people who are already so morally bankrupt that they committed a crime in the first place. The true point is ethical, not legal, and it is absolutely 100% crystal clear: If you commit a crime, you are a criminal. If somehow you get away with it because the law's presumption of innocence has worked in your favor, you are still a criminal.

By the way, if you're a practising lawyer and you disagree with me on this point, PLEASE drop me an e-mail so I can PERSONALLY congratulate you on your good fortune in passing the bar in the face of your handicap of supreme lack of intelligence.

Improper Word Usage

• "Paradigm" when you mean "Metaphor"

• any use of the non-word "irregardless"

"FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs

Who else would be selling it?? The neighbors? 

Internet Assistant for Microsoft Word

Why does this tool produce such terrible HTML code? My first experience with HTML was using IA to convert some Word documents to HTML, and the resulting mess was not only aesthetically offensive; in many cases it just didn't make sense! I'm not sure what is the point of following <H1> with <STRONG>, but for some reason Microsoft thinks it's a good idea. 

MSN

I was a beta-tester for the Microsoft Network. At that time MSN really did look like an extension of your computer... when you moved from forum to forum the interface (looking quite a bit like Explorer (not Internet Explorer, but the desktop variety)) displayed folders, etc. You could download files by dragging them to your desktop, or to another (local) Explorer window. And these downloaded files were added to a queue, similar to the printer queue, so you had a very good chance of getting at least part of a multiple-file download in case the connection dropped. 

 That changed when Microsoft decided to turn the world upside-down, and instead of the Internet being an extension of your personal computer, now your PC is a part of the Internet and all the world is seen through the same clunky browser. Pardon me, but that's not what I want. ActiveX, Java, etc on my desktop bloated the operating system to the point where it was literally unusable on my previously serviceable 486/66. My solution? Install Linux. My machine screams once again!

More on Microsoft

I'm really not down on Microsoft. Really. It's just that some of the things they've done lately have really put me out. The best thing I can say about it is that they're opening up competition by making other operating systems more palatable to the users MS is alienating. On the other hand, MS has done wonders with their Office suite. So well, in fact, that similarly consistent software will have to be created for other platforms if they want to compete.

Linux's User Interface

I get to rant about someone other than Microsoft. As noted above, the MS Office suite integrates nicely into the desktop. Until recently, MSN did, too. Why is it that Linux programmers are unable to see how disjointed and kludged their interfaces look in comparison?

There are some efforts to improve it. Motif is too old and blocky for my tastes, but GNOME may be good. We'll have to wait about a year (IMHO) to find out.

I have to admit that KDE is looking really good these days... I prefer it to Windows. Now we need applications that take advantage of it.

Browser-like Interfaces on Desktop Software

Two words: Lotus Notes. I hate it. Why someone would abandon clearly defined tabbed screens for something that you have to scroll through is beyond me. To me, it's clearly easier to hit a tab and SEE what I'm looking for than to have to grab a scroll bar and search for the thing manually. At least AltaVista has tabs on its e-mail screen, so it's easier than most web-based interfaces to navigate.

That said, I design Notes software. But I put in tabs.